Preserve your memories. They're all that's left you.

It was 13 years ago to the day that my first pony, Ollie, was put to sleep after some horse kicked him in the field. Ollie, Oliver, Ol, Wol, whatever I was calling him that day, was a complete babe. I've written about him in some earlier posts, but basically, he went from being a mutt that wouldn't do a thing for anyone, to storming round cross country courses, winning me under 12 jumping classes and posting tidy first level dressage scores. He was 13.3hh, utterly mixed breed, no idea how old, probably from Ireland, a wonderful red bay with black points, two white back socks with ermine marks, cow hocked, had a high stepping trot like a little Hackney, could gallop faster than any of my friends' ponies, enjoyed - I think! - our hacks out on our own where I'd take him to a strip of grass along a quiet country lane and let him run, commentating a big race finish to myself in my head, or when I'd head up to the field that ran alongside the A66 in Darlington and from a rolling start, race the big lorries as they slowed down for the roundabout, or race to get away from the intercity trains that would hurtle past 'round the 'Plantation' as we called it, ones that hadn't stopped at Darlington station. We were maybe 15 metres from the track at the closest point. You'd hear the tracks start to vibrate, then sing, and then the roar, and oh MY if you weren't off that bit of the path in seconds, you'd get a bum's rush outta there! It seems most of my memories are of going FAST on my little bay guy. And I'm so glad I have them. I had a proper pony childhood, going out aged 7, 8, 9 with slightly older friends, going to the corner shop, trotting down to the river at Neasham, across roundabouts that were pretty busy!! Aged 10, 11, going out on my own, fantasising as we were practising jumping that we were winning junior European competitions! Ahhhhhh. Fortunately, I knew how lucky I was. I was naive, but I knew that much.

I still miss him, although it doesn't hurt. Sometimes I dream about him, and we're galloping or just spending time with each other. I don't dream about any other animal that's passed, so I think that's pretty special.