Little and Large

While I was falling asleep last night, I was thinking through all the stories I could write about. I'm finding it nice and cathartic to get things written down, so I'm wondering if getting some more emotional stuff down will help. I just so happened to be thinking this, and then reading blogs that i follow this morning, found that topics close to my emotional heart are being discussed. So I'll go ahead!

First of all is one of my angriest experiences, that still gets me fuming. I need to get over it, granted! Last October, my last year of University, I decided I'd try out for the Uni Riding Team. Why not? They asked me to fill in a form before the trials, asking me what experience I had, what I liked to ride, what I didn't like to ride. I stated my height and weight, my successes, confidences and fears. Simple, I thought, and sent it off. The trial date was set, I got a lift with some of the other triallists to a place so far into the middle of nowhere that one of my first thoughts was 'shit, what if one of us gets hurt?!' air ambulance would've been the only option, we were 15 minutes from the nearest proper road, half an hour from the main road and with just moorland as far as the eye could see. I shrugged it off anyway and we headed into the yard - a bit rundown, but not terrible. There were 4 or 5 horses tied up, some rugged and muddy, others not. Nothing special, just average riding school horses, so they looked, a variety of heights. I picked up a brush and began helping to groom one of the unrugged geldings. I'd managed two stroked when one of the old Uni girls snapped "we don't use dandy brushes here." Oh, I thought. Why the hell not? the horse was muddy and was going to be ridden. I was only doing the saddle patch. Still, biting down retorts, I backed off, and waited for everyone to tack up - there were more people than horses. Not that I felt like helping anyway.

I was first assigned to a 5 year old grey hogged cob named Bailey. I had specified I was used to riding cob types, nothing over 16.3, so this was fine. The 'trainer' told me he was for sale, and as a jumper/hunter and he had 'done some competitions'... Riiiight. He was like cardboard, dead sides, dead mouth, and i was not allowed a whip. Fine by me, but he didn't respond to squeezes or a kick, and it was frankly ridiculous. When we got the measure of each other, he did trot and attempt some semblance of contact and bend on circles, and I got a bit of canter, but there was no way he could have performed a balanced simple dressage test! Still, everyone else was doing ok, and soon it was time to swap. This is where it got fun. The b*tch who snapped at me got my cob, I got put on a 17.2 hunter...that was FOUR.

THANKS

while the others swapped amongst their schooled 15.2 borings.

I hadn't ridden anything that big since I'd sat on our old shire Josh, a while ago. I've never trained a young giant, and i've certainly never had my riding assessed on one! So I was pissed, but I thought i'd give him a go. They were obviously testing me out, and I'd make the best of it. He walked nicely, mouthed the bit a little but seemed to have problems bending. Trot was similar, and when asked to circle, I made sure the circles were LARGE enough for him. I was a little worried at how ineffectual my short short legs were on him, as his lack of bend made for some hairy moments heading for the fence. I decided to stick to straight lines, especially when the 'trainer' asked us for canter. I figured maybe we canter the long sides, then trot the short - the arena was pretty small, with 3 other horses in it, doing their own thing too - but no, this wasn't good enough, the 'trainer' wanted circles. This horse still wasn't listening to my leg. She told me he'd done very little, and had trouble with taking the correct lead. Bailey had this problem too, but I'd managed to work through it with him. The large thighed bint who was now on him couldn't even get him to canter, so this gave me a smidgen of comfort.

Just as well, because things were about to go very wrong. At her instruction, I'd set the giant onto a 30 or 40 meter circle - basically at 1/3 and 2/3 of the school, and as we crossed the center line, and he'd ignored my hand and leg asking for a bit of bend, we were heading for the fence. I couldn't do much but encourage with my leg more, and all of a sudden, he stumbled, I went over his right shoulder, and for an awful moment I thought 'hello tonne of horse, hello air ambulance' but somehow i was thrown clear, and he pulled up. I lay still, cause my shoulder kind of ripped, and my leg hurt and i was damned if i was moving before i checked all my limbs. I was left there for a few minutes, til the stupid trainer realised maybe I wasn't fine and she'd checked her precious barely broken hunter, who was fine, I was glad, but geez, I took a tumble!! I gingerly got up, pretty shaken, but willing to get back on. They stressed and stressed how it wasn't the horses fault, nope, could've happened to anyone. yep, poor horse, only 4. I got back on, with commands to just walk. No problem there.

When the time came to change, the 'trainer' got on the 4 year old, and he could not, or would not canter with bend with her for a good ten minutes. After that, she had him cooled down and put away. No one else rode him, and I didn't get another ride. Great, I really showed how good I was there. By now though, I didn't give a damn. I just wanted to go and get ice on my shoulder which was throbbing like a good un.

Fastforward to the next day, I can barely move. I receive a rejection email - didn't make the team. I am relieved to be free from going up there again, heaven forbid to JUMP the unsuitable horses, but am seriously indignant. I know i'm a damn good rider, and I know I got done over badly! I email back, asking why? I only rode two horses, took a crash off of one, and may I therefore have my money back for the trial?

Her (paraphrased, but i remember most of it very clearly) reply - this is snappy b*tch btw - "no you may not have a refund, you got a fair trial, some other people only rode two horses too (yeah, ones that were schooled) and the reason your horse fell over was because your inside leg was fixed and the horse was trying to bend around it and couldn't. Me and Katie (the trainer) agreed."

I didn't reply to this, because the vile things I wanted to say would've overshadowed everything. But by golly was I furious. Even if the horse could've felt my inside leg barely below the saddle flap, I have never, ever, ever known of an animal falling over because someone's inside leg is applying pressure to its side. Whatever it was, and I'm not absolving myself of blame, the horse should not have been used in the exercise, let alone for me, and I needed 6 months of physio afterwards before I could rotate my arm fully. I reported the riding club for using substandard facilities, unsuitable horses, and unqualified trainers. The next week, I was invited back for a second trial by the apologetic club captain, but even if i'd wanted to, which I very much did not, I couldn't have, with the seized shoulder.

Aside from all the drama, and what I could find out about the place from a friend who is the welfare officer for that area, I was stunned to see a saddle come off the 17.2 i'd been riding and, with a couple of saddle pads underneath, be put straight onto a 14.2 lightweight pony. Summed it up, really.